Hovercar Glitch

We got up and went to mc Donald’s for breakfast we finished breakfast then we went to the car dealer ship. We got there at 11:30 and we brought a red hovercar for $33.000 good job we had $50.000. We went to the owner of the car and gave him the money. When we got the key we took it for a test drive. We went back to our flat and got another $33.000 and went to the mod shop. We added turbo and cruiser mode.we turned it on it glitched and at full speed it went straight through the dealer ship window.They took our car but where were they going?

By Edward and Taylor

One thought on “Hovercar Glitch”

  1. Edward and Taylor – That’s a lot of cash to carry around! Interesting writing – I would never have thought about writing about a hovercar!

    Next time you write, use time adverbials to help your writing to flow. You have a lot of sentences starting with ‘we’ and that can make I sound like a list. You started one sentence with ‘when’, you could have used ‘after that’, ‘a moment later’ or ‘suddenly’.

    Creative work though chaps – it just needs alittle more editing before being published.
    Mrs. E.

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