The Porthole

One night in the atlantics near the African cost there were loads of fishing boats. They were all searching for the portal the portal that lead into another dimension  ; and they were all sear in searching in speeded area . When out of nowhere one of the ships found  it they found the portal ; out came a bright beaming light it Shon bright purple ; out of the bloom the big bright sea started to sink in to the ground  the men were stuck near a gunged ; trapped instantly  became swamp land.

Will the ships ever be discovered again?

Jess & Sam

One thought on “The Porthole”

  1. Wow! You have used quite a few semi-colons! I think some of them may have been better replaced by full stops!

    Remember – a sentence is something doing something. A semi-colon can replace a conjunction that links two sentences but, just as you wouldn’t want too many ‘ands’ and no full stops, you don’t want too many semi-colons either!

    Good attempt at using some tricky punctuation!
    (Merit)

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